MONSTER [Ver 3]

Friday, November 25, 2005
My workplace is a little melancholy town where the security guards always frown. We have many ridiculous Âcover your assÂ rules, even the snails chuckle at.

Scenario 1: Driving from my workplace to the guard house, got off my car and heads to the post to exchange passes. The old security guard walks out with his cowboy moves, and heads towards me.

Me: Hey man whats up
Guard: DonÂt speed in the plant, IM EYEING you from the cameras.
Me:? Eh I only travel at around 35km/h
Guard points to the nearest sign that screams the speed limit is 5km/h and then reprimands a bangla worker riding a bicycle for the exact same reason.
ME: ÂÂÂ bicycle exceed road limitÂÂÂÂ

Scenario 2: Driving to work and reaching the guard house. Exchanged passes and got into the car ready to drive off with barrier raised. The old security guard walks out with his best Adolf Hitler impersonation, and heads towards me.

Guard: Can you hurry up, you might cause a jam.
Me: (Looks behind and the only traffic I can see are 2 birds playing hop scotch; thatÂs if you can call that traffic)

Scenario 3: Driving to work and reaching the guard house. Exchanged passes and got into the car ready to drive off with barrier raised. Remembering the previous incident, I was all set to go in a huff. The old security guard walks out with his pants up to his waist, and heads towards me.

Guard: You dun anyhow go off unless I tell u to.
Me: ÂÂÂÂ. Vomit bloodÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÂ..

Apart from the occasional erratic security guards, suicide frogs and being located next to a relatively unknown nature reserve, I actually like my job.
What is there not to like when:
1) Grown up men in their 40s, still wrestle (R.I.P Eddie gurrearo) each other and rub each other balls with their legs.
2) ALL your bosses go on leave and suddenly the attachie becomes the ÂbiggestÂ in the plant.
3) Your boss knows you have outside business, and still let you setup a base of operation in office. In fact he printed shirts from me too!
4) I can get leave as and when I want to.
5) Last night's champions league match is the main topic of the day.
6) The dimsum JB trips and refuelling at our favourite haunt CALTEX.

I learned many new things and managed to polish up on my programming skills. My proff came over and asked me whether i forsee myself continuing on with my current job. I said no because:

1) Go JB too often and i might just end up having my car stolen and thumb chopped off just like my colleague!
2) Smell too much chemicals till all my sperms die just like my ex-colleague!!
3) Sleep during lunch time and drop into big drainage system and suffer various navklkljljl diseases just like my friend's colleague!!!
4) im just not interested and find life robotic just like all my colleagues!!!!

This is my final IA report, my version.
Love G,
Bawitdaba - Kid Rock

it seeps out// 10:53 AM

Monday, November 14, 2005
1 up

Saturday was an spent on $100+ on musical equipment, and suddenly i feel like im Pat Torpey and Paul Gilbert reborn. I hate my INova equipment now, not only do they sound like crap, the steels they are made with are also green crap. Why green crap? Its because, i have never seen algae grown on fucking steel before. Algae that makes me glad that autosol was engineered.

On a totally seperate topic:

I have this incredible stupidity that is inbuilt into me, that would only express its outrageous self when i meet a girl i like. The kind that will make melvin proud anytime. Somehow i'll cock it all up, and the girl will end up thinking Gerard has some serious issues like tissues man. The truth is i only wanna be with you.

I'm such a baby
Cause the Dolphins make me cry
Well there's nothing I can do
I only wanna be with you
You can call me your fool
Only wanna be with you

G with love and confidence.

it seeps out// 1:04 AM