Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Ugly piece of shit.
1 of our many drinking sessions
Jude in his F1 racing kart
Man's breast. Sauna
Me n prositute
it seeps out// 11:36 PM
Sunday, November 28, 2004
The 7 deadly Sins
Well in a matter of a day n half a night, i managed to complete all 7 sins. With the help of Jude and my dad of course. This entry is dedicated entirely to my Batam trip, so bugger off if you aren't interested.
This being a trip planned by guys, there surely would be the word cock-up somewhere in the planning. Right from the off, it happened. On the morning of our departure, we didn't collect our ferry & hotel tix. How cool can that be. So within an hour, we rushed from Golden mile to fucking harbor front. Cock up from me of course.
We reached the hotel Novotel at mid-noon, which was also our rendevous point with my dad. The first words that came out from my dad's mouth were, " & over there is the popular disco...". So much for like father like son. I was surprised they even have a disco in a mutt country, but more on tt later..
Pa dot yao yao, pa dot pa dao yao. Bloody chanting that line, since the hotel receptionist was taking forever sorting out my room number. I was so hungry, i was gonna bitch slap that smirky little look she had. After what seemed like an eternity we proceeded to have a ayam goreng and Soto (soup). Fancy me eating chicken rice even in Batam. I could feel my stomach giving me the V for victory in morse code. I could even feel Jude's belly booging to the song getting :'Jiggy with it'.
Everywhere we went, we rode on scooters. Its damn fucking cool, since:
1) We didn't have helmets
2) I came across only 2 traffic lights in the entire BAtam i traveled.
3) There are no lane markings
4) People like to jump onto the roads, out of nowhere.
5) Our bikes have no mirrors
6) there is no government
7) My pockets were so shallow, I had to grab onto my pockets. It must have given everyone the impression that I was scratching my balls the entire journey.
7 ways to make your mother flip.
1) Drink 5 bottles of henekien/ carlsberg + 1 jug of draft beer. When we were in our hotel room, we had a bottle of carlsberg. I half joking told JUde, at any moment before we have our first sip somebody would ring our door bell. Guess what, it fucking did happen. But no, not for a big celebration ( I actually hoped it would be the Japanese school girls that were staying opposite us.), just bloody room service.
1.5) We were bloody drunk.
2) Take photos with prostitutes in a stupor
3) Goto a sleazy KTV lounge to sing, where my Dad knows the 'mummy'.
4) Goto a massage parlour. The masseuses were around my age. Quite cute too, right Jude especially yours.
5) Goto a disco where drugs are lying everywhere. as if you are peeing. They spin some pretty good stuff, like Prodigy's "Smack my bitch up". But most of them spin typical RnB/ Hip hop songs.
6) We pratically ate through the 2 days. Seafood, snacks, beer, snacks more snacks and fucking more sn..
7) Spend all our money. We had like S$2 when we returned. We were practically peniless, even if people steal our wallet also useless. We were carrying fakes anyway, steal steal loh.
HAd a little go-karting too. Bloody rusty, it has been years since i touched the damn thing. Even my drift didn't come out as i wanted too. Shit, even Jude beat me. Im so screwed, pai seh man. Nice going with the driving, for a beginner. It was the highlight for Sunday, as we waited like idiots for like 4 hours for our return trip. Oh yah we stun a keycard, from the hotel. If anyone wants to stay in Novotel, and in room 459. We have the key, and it works alright. ( We tested after we check out, and the room already cleaned up.) We did alot of other shit too, but i just can't be bothered to write anymore. If this don't get published properly, i'll just give up. I love the outing. It has been a long time, since i've a bachleor overseas outing. Hell ya it feels good.
Music: Green day's hitching a ride
'I was a young boy that had big plans
Now I'm just another shitty old man
I don't have fun and I hate everything
The world owes me, so fuck you'
it seeps out// 9:33 PM
Friday, November 26, 2004
Only Heaven Knows:
Today gave a new meaning rain like fuck. I was driving back when i got hit by a thunderstorm. I couldn't even see what is in front of me. Just like fuck, everything was in a sweeping motion. Behind was like fuck, so was the front n sides. Every car was like spraying water onto each car, somewhat like the zoolander scene ( to the music of Wham's wake me up before you go go).
Parking at the multistorey carpark, i realised i was still some distance away from my house. Without a brolly and armed w my deadly trial slippers, i was bloody stuck. The 1st attempt in crossing my carpark didn't come off, but my slippers did. In the same process, i did a double somersault and a wheel barrow before landing gracefully on my back. $Q(#(#&(@&#(!@#, was followed by the roar of thunder asking me to shut up. Yes, i got up drenched n cursing at my slippers before running back home.
I reached into my pocket, only to realise that i dropped my fuck keys back in the carpark. @#(@&#(*(*@#()!, pressing the lift button, #(#&(*$&#(*&, running, @@&#@(*#&(!@(* picking up keys, (^(*@(*&#(*&@#(*&, run back home. Finally @*#@(#!@(*#_(+. ONly GOd knows why i haven't throw away the fucking slippers yet. Bloody fuck.
I can't wait for this sat.... Jude faster get ur license leh, even dumb Melv got his license liao. Seriously i cannot imagine melv driving, he looks like a dick in a tin can.
it seeps out// 1:09 AM
Monday, November 15, 2004
All things new
Ok ok my blog is in need of a new skin. In fact its overdue, even my tagboard is not working.
Me to Cat=> Hey we were fucking busy, soon we will be busy fucking haha(Sorry mel, needed tt quote).
Update soon.
MUsic inspired by suede; she's in fashion: Introduced to me by Daniel
Music plays a big part of my life. Totally inspired & influenced by it.
it seeps out// 11:48 PM
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Arguments
I have a knack of "winning" arguments in a rather unusual way. Its the same strategy i deploy while playing Magic. Its called the confusion tactic ( jude and melv will noe this strat with fear hehe).
We will first start off on the topic of argument, then i'll drift incoherently to other unrelated subjects. As Jes would famously put it in the year 2000: " It's like driving a car while eating hamburger." Totally no linkage at all whatsoever, BUT he won the argument leaving the opponent drowning in utter crap.
Having a conversation with me is a no brainer. Why?
1.) I rather listen than talk.
2.) I am not very intelligent.
3.) I might have Warcraft on my screen.
4.) What conversation? PPl will forget my conversation as soon as i leave, as JY will testify.
If it's my fault, i'll be the 1st to put my hand up and say shit sorry man. My bad.
If its not...
Step 1: Argue and drown my opponent in saliva. (According to jeremy and si yao, its my speciality.)
Step 2: Whip him with my anaconda. (Which CLement so desperately wants to know the secret behind it)
Step 3: Roll him over with my all new Honda City.
Step 4: SAy to him: "$*%#&$$*^#&#^*(&(&@(@%*@#(*@" ( There are kids reading this blog u noe. Like Jean. Censorship is a must.) Skip this step if u r a her.
Exams have been crazy, been studying 'hard'. It always seems that alot of other things are much more interesting than the books in front of me. Never been to the toilet as much as i have before. Really aheellhole. But the funniest shit happened yesterday. I saw this fat teacher saw on this chair during exams. There he was rocking it like a cradle, and the chair gave way. Down came the big fat butt with a tthud. I don't know about the rest, i was laughing my head off. With him giving me the stare. haahahahah. Dog
Music=> Any clubbing music
Mode=>ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
P.S: Those who know what is going to happen on 4th Dec, this is a reminder and don't expect me to pay for everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it seeps out// 11:30 AM
Monday, November 01, 2004
You're the super-slacker!!
Homework?
What's that? Studying? Not in your vocabulary.
You hardly study and almost never do your work
and yet, by some divine intervention, you're
still surviving. And you come to school so
un-often, your teachers have pratically
forgotten that you even exist. Go, you slacker,
you!!
Which Stereotypical Singaporean Student Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
it seeps out// 4:27 PM
