MONSTER [Ver 3]

Friday, February 27, 2004
The case of the round things

Today i saw my mum giving my pri 1 cousin probably his 1st sex lesson. The guy was like pointing at the cleavage of the girls in the magazine. He seemed truely excited by it and i shall not go into detail of how he did it. Let ur imagination do the rest. The innocence of childhood.

My mum was trying to make breast sound like a sacred thing, which is true for girls. I got lost somewhere in the explaination between the similarity between humans, cows and cats' breast. The important point to note is when did you have your first sex lesson and how? embaressed? I had mine like 19 years back. I chanced upon my bros' not so secret stash of playboy and racey magazines. MY curiosity got the better of me as to how and what are they doing in the magazines. For the 1st 5 years of my formation, i thought girls just got pregnant by sleeping next to the guy, and NOT on the guy and vice versa. My bro caught me, and promptly shouted out to my 3 room flat neighbours: " Jianxiong zai kan Playboy". There we have it, a combination of my km and a stack of playboy magazines taught me abt sex. I still remember how i got tricked by my uncle into thinking girls lost their "bird", by jumping till it dropped. Fuck.

Watching my cousin eating his dinner also invoke some of my childhood gualible. When i grew up i realise the defination of the word 'last'. It basically means the end, final...depends on the usage. When my mum said "last mouth" when i was young and not to hungry. It lasted like a zillion "last mouths". I am like god...

This remind of me this guy i met recently. He was boasting to me about his trophy collections of girls that used to be his ex and having too many girls around him. That was still alright, cuz im used to this kind of male ego. The worst part was when he told me, he met this 17 years old kid, and is considering her an investment. It totally derailed him from ppl i wana keep in contact me. I never believe in cultivating girls as if they are plants.

1. He isnt cut/ handsome.
2. Saliva foams on his outer lip, whenever he talks ( NOT ME!!!!!!!!)
3. He just have the cash to splurge. What i term as using money to buy friendship

All my relationship with girls have been lasting ones. I don't think any guys world will function properly w/o a girl overlooking all the fine little details guys leave out. Me included. Cherish this love, deep in your heart.

it seeps out// 9:26 PM

Thursday, February 26, 2004
Shingo

You are Shingo Katori! You are young, hard-working,
silly, energetic, and you like everyone who
likes you. You do what you want as long as it
makes you happy and doesn't hurt your image.
Everyone gets a kick out of you! Time for a
joke and a beer now ^_^

Which SMAP member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

it seeps out// 1:39 AM

Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Love bite, love bite..... no, mosquito.

I had this camp mate of mine, who i did guard duty once upon a time with, told me this fucking funny incident once.

Danny was making out with his gf in his house on a typical sunday afternoon. In the heat of all this passion, he gave her a lovebite on her gf's cleavage. It was pretty big, and really obvious. It so happened that she was a low cut spaghetti tt day too.

After the day's events, the girl went back home at dusk. Trying to hide the 'bruise' away from her mum, her movement attracted too much curiosity from her family members. Eventually her mum asked about the 'bruise':

Mum: " What is that i see on your chest"
Girl: " NOthing it was jus a mosquito bite"
MUm: " DAnny the mosquito isit?"
...
the rest is up to your imagination.

it seeps out// 10:34 PM

Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Someday, it is going to be a saturday night

This entry is going to be an emo ( reads: emotional) entry, if you are feeling happy don't read it.

I celebrated my friend Su Jing's bday today, with a close group of friends. I left the party of 5 around evening time, to wander around town. I walked aimlessly, listlessly and only listening to the thoughts in my head. It was something i needed for a long time, it was called "privacy".

In that short half hour i walked, many thoughts went through my mind. Many of them inchoerent thoughts about everything. The most notable thing that hit me was, what was i doing to myself.

Right now i feel like im drifting through life, without any sense of purpose and aim. Caught in between the responsibility of adulthood and the carefree attitude of youth.

Relationships:
Often it is hard to remain faithful and feel neglected at the same time. Many atimes, i felt i lacked support from several quarters when i needed it most. There was an everlasting presence throughout in all these dark/ lonely times. It was my dearie. Stood by me through literally dark and bright times. I couldn't ask for more. I got only a word for you, although its simple, but when said with feelings, it sums up everything. That word is " thanks".

Myself:
By now everyone knows what and who Gerard is. I can't express what i think about myself compared to my friends. My friends impression and feelings towards me, are their eternal possession, which i'll never change. I am a Man of many contradictions, many man are like that too. I can be jokingly serious about things. I won't say im an emotional casualty, simply because im not. Its just a self evaluation about oneself, so one can set their priorties clearly. Certainly i don't lack self confidence. In fact, i feel everyone should do that too once in awhile.

Friends:
I have many 'friends', in and out of school. How many can you trust and really stand out for you in times of trouble. I worry for girls sometime, esp. their male counterparts. I worry about the fact that, their male counterparts may take advantage of the situation for a quick fuck. All my gd close friends jus like Evils' come in 3s. Jude - evil - me, white feather -ah da - me, CYY - Jx - me, cat - JY - me. It's a magical number, though ironically i hate it. These are people who would go the extra mile, to help me. My gratitude to you too.

Future:
Sometimes i feel like letting everything go and just set myself free, jus like in my teenage days. On the other hand, if i do that i would be pushing away my responsibilities. Im someone if i have to choose between serving my responsibilities and having fun, i would choose the former. Should i really act my age? Maybe i can integrate both of this options into one. I gave thought about it, maybe i would succeed in making responsibility into a fun job. Seems hard, but army taught me, nothing is impossible.

This song currently sets the mood, take note of the lyrics.
Hey, my name is jim, where did I go wrong
My life’s a bargain basement, all the good shit’s gone
I just can’t hold a job, where do I belong
I’m sleeping in my car, my dreams move on

My name is billy jean, my love was bought and sold
I’m only sixteen, I feel a hundred years old
My foster daddy went, took my innocence away
The street life ain’t much better, but at least I get paid

And tuesday just might go my way
It can’t get worse than yesterday
Thursdays, fridays ain’t been kind
But somehow I’ll survive

Hey man I’m alive I’m takin’ each day and night at a time
Yeah I’m down, but I know I’ll get by
Hey hey hey hey, man gotta live my life
Like I ain’t got nothin’ but this roll of the dice
I’m feelin’ like a monday, but someday I’ll be saturday night

Now I can’t say my name, and tell you where I am
I want to roll myself away, don’t know if I can

I wish that I could be in some other time and place
With someone elses soul, someone elses face

Oh, tuesday just might go my way
It can’t get worse than yesterday
Thursdays, fridays ain’t been kind
But somehow I’ll survive

Hey, man I’m alive I’m takin’ each day and night at a time
Yeah I’m down, but I know I’ll get by
Hey hey hey hey, man gotta live my life
I’m gonna pick up all the pieces and what’s left of my pride
I’m feelin’ like a monday, but someday I’ll be saturday night

Saturday night here we go
Some day I’ll be saturday night
I’ll be back on my feet, I’ll be doin’ alright
It may not be tomorrow baby, that’s ok
I ain’t goin’ down, gonna find a way, hey hey hey

Hey man I’m alive I’m takin’ each day and night at a time
Yeah, I’m down, but I know I’ll get by
Hey hey hey hey, man, gotta live my life
Like I ain’t got nothin’ but this roll of the dice
I’m feelin’ like a monday, but someday I’ll be saturday night
I’m feelin’ like a monday, but someday I’ll be saturday night
Saturday night __________,all right, all right
Saturday night

it seeps out// 10:30 PM

Monday, February 23, 2004
Terrific, Jus terrific

I was discussing with White Feather the finer pts in "chao keng". He needed an excuse in 2hrs and i was giving him a fewer pointers i came up with.

1. Swallow panadol -> It actually heats ur body up for 2hrs for awhile, at least for me it works for me

2. Diahorrea -> The good old excuse always comes in handy at $18 at my hse downstairs

3. Talcum powder in eye -> This magic trick is a guranteed success to at least a week of MC/ sore eye/ and a trip down the pain alley.

4. Sledge Hammer -> This intricate move of putting a dent in your (leg/ toe/ wherever u deem fit) goes a long way in your career in the SAF. NOte: When i say wherever, i don't mean up the middle. Im afraid you would have to turn gay after tt.

I was studying chemistry just now and i realise i can't do anything without knowing what im doing. Boy am i in trouble.......
dang
bing bang.

Btw u can read White Feathers entry, as to wat happen on sat.

Cheerio

it seeps out// 1:25 AM

Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Uptown girls and guys

I see a storm brewing on the horizon in my cac eca. They are playing political muscial chair in today's meeting. It is like playing survivor, 2 ppl try to form alliances, jolstering for positions. Im like fuck, u need a tribal counsel or not. How about torches? u need that so i can put it out for you? So old still play friend friend. My senior tried to pull a stunt on my president, making her look like a complete bitch. On the other hand, i don't think she is one. She just want to prove that she is absolutely right in certain matters. Of course the manner in which she tired to prove it was out of the world..

If she tired to pull that kinda trick on me or any of my bros, she is in for hell. She will recognise the word "FUCKED" literally and laterally..... Guess what? I managed to squeeze in another stupid joke in between all these shit.

XY: "We can't do canvassing in areas like hougang, sengkang and serangoon."

Me: "I noe why, because they have gangs and goons in that area! wheeeeeeee. Ok stop it already."

I can also imagine tomorrow:

Scene 1: After lecture
Cat: " Where shall we go for lunch?"
JY: " I noe i noe, we can go town, then .....and then........and then.....and then.....and then...."
Alex: " Anyway w discount loh, or somewhere in school."
Me: Crack a stupid joke, which every1 totally ignores

Scene 2:In the car

Me -> Nearly run down chinaman/ useless looking mutt in the zebra crossing.
JY -> Tries to press the dashboard, somehow hoping it will stop the car
Cat -> Does duplicate the action of pushing and hoping for the same result
Alex -> the muscle man looks as calm as a clam

Scene 3: Meal time

Cat -> Infected by the bad food, leaves the leftover to one side
JY -> Infecting everyone with infectious laughter
Me -> Infecting every1's food with his deadly saliva
Alex -> Finishes the infected food

Scene 4: BAck to school
Every1 decides they can't listen to the lecture anyway, so every1 skips and do their own shit.

Man i can't wait for the HOLS, i promise myself this sem im only going to drink 2 more times. It's this sat at dbl 'o' with all my buds and 3 march bash, which im in charge of. It better be a success cuz this man is going places if it is.

Music: Human Nature - Everytime you cry

it seeps out// 1:43 AM

Sunday, February 15, 2004
V day excitement boiling over.

I spent a great day out today with my sweetheart and friends. For starters, I wanted to divert from the norm of hey lets hang out and all( movie and stuff). Went down to a fucking crowded suntec, to meet a WICKED looking Joan. She was dressed in this funky Blair Witch outfit. No i ain't making referance to any creatures in the dark. A compliment coming from me, ain't easy.

I went like alright, " Here's the deal, go grab anything from any shop except the Jewellery shops and plasma anythings".
She then became a kid in this freaking big shopping mall. Searching high and low for things. No i didn't mess up her intended present to make up for it, skill k.

Then came the dinner part, we checked out Tony Romas, it was fucking crowded man. SO we skipped it, voting to go Equinox instead, only to find it was booked for a private function. We were like alright, last resort lets go to GRAND CITY. ONly to find it has been fucking taken over by some fook yung restaurant. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. ANyway we decided to settle at fook yung anyway, cuz partly we spent 1 whole cheebye hungry hour looking for a good spot to eat. Yah i noe its my bad, not doing my homework in advance. But i've to settle alot of things for CAC V-day can!

After the 1 and a half hour dinner, we went down to HArry's at the esplande. I wanted to see Paul do his shit, but there was this single's event going on inside. I could see WHY they were still single when i went in. Practically everyone had the word 'loser' tied to their forehead, needing this kinda function to get hitched. I tell u who were the most ELIGIBLE bachelor and GIrl. ITs the workers in HArry's, JOan and me. Yup its that bad when im counted inside.

There was this guy carrying a bag of roses, presumebly wanting to give to a girl he wants. Yah on the outlook it was ok, until u see his zip at the right end. Fuck i swore, every1 was staring at me n Joan, cuz we were like THE only GD looking couple in the house. I had this drink, called the standing ovation. Yah after the drink, i wanted to give 1 to every1, cuz it had the weirdest taste to it. Vodka with oreo? wah lau!!! the mere mention of it makes me wana puke can.

Around midnight, i send my sweetheart back home sweet home. I then drove the dirty looking RARD mobile to white feather's house and headed on down to wine bar. My bro, Evil was gonna head back down under on monday, Boy am i gonna miss this motherfucker, he's really one of a kind. When i reached wine bar, he was onto his 9th jug of the night, and looking gone. I promptly bought him his 10th. He had like Vodka everything and Henessy green tea. As for me and Dan well read his entry . It is a hilarous contrast to Jx entry. I was fucking gone for the night, both of us were. We needed assistant driving home, thankfully somehow i was dragged home. It must be some unseen aura.

Fuck never drink n drive again. Maybe my car is all smashed up against a tree right now. I better go check.

Music: Maroon 5 -> this love
Attitude: THANK GOD

it seeps out// 1:58 PM

Tuesday, February 10, 2004
IMpossible things seemingly possible.

I swore to every1 today, the flushing system in NTU is more forceful than a hurricane. It literally blew my shit away. My shit was like the scud missile and the toilet flush was the patriot missile. I was like woah im outta here, after the flush caused my shit to fly to unimaginable places. Standing and watching i could only mouth the word "fuck", seeing the flying scud get blown out of proportion.

Speaking on the topic of impossible things, my "cousin" told me his strange encounter with rats. It seems after centuries of uncountable accidents their ancestors met with cars, the rats finally learnt a few things.
1. Never use the road when u got the sewage to crawl through.
2. The overhead was obviously built for a few reasons, so use it!
3. The huge pole ACROSS THE ROAD that occasionally flash RGY( REd, Green and Yellow) is not a huge candy.

This group of indonesian classmates of mine were giving a certain prof a lesson in chemistry. They stumped and confounded the prof w questions from the deep and wide. My friend WK then asked her what was it the indos wrote on the board. I was not surprised when she said: " Hmph, actually i don't k now". FUcking indos they are goin to take over the world with their brains of chemistry. No wonder they have so many suicide bombers. Its in their blood to make their own ninabeh bombs.

They also like to dress up as terrorist. It's their national costume man. HOw manly can u get while wearing a dress, with a moustache and a hat that goes with it. I was in the toilet with 1 of 'them', i was like ok its not worth it bombing the toilet; the building won't collapse. They totally freak me out man. Just look at your hostel or condo security guards. They don't look like they are there to protect your things, fucking drug addicts and alcoholics. Do you what is the best part in all these, i've like more mutt friends than chinese guys in school.

I was driving along with Jx and CYY back from school, when i saw this indian guy wearing a dark sunglass in a black wagon. It totally cracked me up.
I was like:
Me: " Not dark enough is it? still wear sunglass, jus put your arm up lah.
Me: " I know what's their favourite love song, its Bonnie Tyler's total eclispe of my heart."
HAHA
Sji can't help it

Music: Michael Jackson: Black or WHite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S: Make it a better place haha.

it seeps out// 4:56 PM

Monday, February 09, 2004
CAuses

Yesterday chaos n confusion reign, on a night i splurge $100 over dollars on causes... After cooking fried rice together with my sweetheart, i recieved a phonecall that changed my plans for the night. Intending to snuff out my bros fire, i headed down to zouk to check on him. He was a confused man, and he should be because out of the blue his gf left him. He was supposed to celebrate his V-day on that day too! Peace out bro. Look at it this way man, gfs may come and go, but the 2 idiots in the form of mel n me will always be around.

We wanted to drown his sorrows in my newly bought embassy card, only to discover there was a NUS bash going on. The intention of going into the place for free was therefore lost. We caught up with mel, bang n derryn at embassy. After pumping in some alcohol, we made our way back to zouk again. Apparently, my bro's twin daniel had a problem w an Indian. He was gropping his gf all over, and when dan tried to intervene, his gf asked him to screw off. He was like wtf. I went down to zouk with our band of brothers: Jude, mel, bang, derrryn, white feather, me and ph half expecting a fight to break out. To our dismay, dan's BIGGER HAIRER friend kelvin settled it already damn!!

Spent half our night at the wine bar, doing shit, shooting shit. When we had enough we headed to the nearby bak kut teh stall to have more than jus food. Derryn was drawing lo-mo(reads: your mother in cantonese) on the bowl with black sauce. Mel then came up with classic: " Bak kut see, bak kut peng(ice) and......."
also...
Mel:" Why is the bak kut teh green?"
Mel:" Oh, cause it is bak kut lu char!!"

Went home n crawled into my bed in the darkness. I was so tired, i dozed off once i hit the pillow w my head.

Feeling: DOD
Music: Guns and roses -> sweet child of mine

it seeps out// 12:43 AM

Friday, February 06, 2004
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I went to zouk last night, with half a mind on the bash on next mths bash and the other on a gd night out. As it turned out, i was too engrossed chopping the "boss" of my eca on blackjack to go there on time for the bash. When u reached there, my friend got so drunk we left like an hour early. I was like, we just got here, we are goin back already. MAN. The guy who organised the bash was this guy called zhong1 guo1. So when my friend said something like:" YOu guys wait here, i gotta meet zhong1 guo1." I was like u gonna meet china NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, its like 2am man.

After driving some drunken soul back into his inferno pen, i dizzily made my way home. Tired, i tumbled onto my bed asleep, only to be awaken by the familiar BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. Fuck, already? but it's still dark. I went to check what was wrong with the sky, only to find all the wrong fuck is with me. Instead of setting the damn clock at 11:30 i set it like 6:55. wat a dope i was.

finally awake and ready, i made my way to the the fucking boring place called school. I swear if it wasn't for a certain few people in school, i would have committed suicide in that damn place already. Speaking of which it reminded of this funny incident my bro Kenny told me before:
Kenny was a paramedic stationed in Ntu like a decade back, when there was a motor incident. There he was comforting the injured dude lying in that heap.
Kenny: "Don't worry the ambulance will be here any moment"
Motorist: "Oooooffffff"
Kenny: " Speaking of which here it is"
Motorist: "oooffff"
Kenny: " Any moment now...................................................wait a minute it isn't stopping"Screech bang bom bang
The ambulance driver failed to see the incident which happened around the bend and crashed into the poor sucker lying in that heap. He was fucking obviously smashed to smithereens
I went to school asking myself what i ask myself every other day
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING HERE"!

Music: Nirvana-> Smells like teen spirit.

it seeps out// 2:14 AM

Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Revelation

I paced home today in thought as darkness begins to engulf the sky. Middle age, a phase everybody goes through, but when does it start? I thought mine started like a year back. I begun to felt more "at home" deep within my lair than the usual "centres", "points" and "plazas". Have i lost the fire of enthusiasm, the baptisim i promised to rain on all. Maybe i lost a little more than that, but im not waiting in my chair to discover what it is. I probably mellowed down due to the middle age men taking effect on me............................................................ Gotta wake up.

Every girl has her own secret garden
if u have the right key u can unlock it
and once awhile this gentlemen is not far away
he would be the right 1 for u.

it seeps out// 8:08 PM

Monday, February 02, 2004
It has been a long week

On friday, i headed on down to NUS to pay a visit to my dearie Joan. We met up at the newly opened Macdonalds in the campus. The interesting part was not so much the parking system but the people in macs .

After circling for like an eternity in the damn carpark, i finally settled down in the red sea markers. There was this dude in macs whom i will certainly stay away in a full moon. He haven't shaven in ages, and he looked like he could turn into a werewolf anytime. Then there was this guy wearing a jersey with the name "Ah boy" inprinted on it. When he turned around, i burst into laughter. This fucker looked more like an "Ah girl".

The next few days i waited in anticipation for kenneth's match on sun. Guess what, for the 5th week consecutive, it was cancelled. So i resigned myself to playing matches on Jude's PS2. Then my mates fr NTu came over to my house and a gallant game of mj. The ultimate winner won like $5.30. I was like woah. Anywayz it seems to me like im writing this blog like a damn report book.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!

it seeps out// 2:52 PM