MONSTER [Ver 3]

Thursday, January 29, 2004
politically correct.

Some people just have the weirdest names in the world don't u agree. Popular names like ah deh, ah hui ah ming were the coolest names their parents could think of, and 50 years down the line they have to suffer the indignity of being mocked at.
Gerard may sound like a decent name, but who knows 50 years down the line. Already people are calling me with their own interpretation of Gerard.

Giraffe
Gerush
jia-lat
.
.
.
.
.
.
What the fuck is going on.
Once and for all its Ger-ard
gee

Look at surharto's daughter, she is called tut tut. Who in the right mind Singapore would name their kid that. I mean i forgive him for not understanding the dialect meaning for tut tut ( Dumb dumb).
Imagine she becomes president.
MC: .... and now ladies and gentlemen please rise for the arrival of president tut tut...

With all the bird flu going on, some Indonesians superstitiously believe that it was Megawati Sukarnopoultry's fault. People were also strongly advised not to walk into Indonesia if they have flu. They might just be caught, drowned and buried for suspicion of bird flu.

Kenny made fun of this dude's hair, which look like he got electrocuted by something. All his hair was standing on pointy ends, like a dino from jurassic park. (Speaking of which, where is my VCD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) He commented that, he was very useful as a waiter. That is because, if he got alot of
calls for bills. He could stick all of it onto his hair without any problem.

I went down to zouk in a blizzard with Xingyong yesterday, to settle some admin matters. This lady i met, i swore had the most guai lan face around. Her figure may be good, but that wasn't gonna entice me to show some niceties. It didn't help, when xy laughed at every count of 10 of $50 notes. We were made to look so kiddy. I mean we are, but hey who's complaining. After all the counting, we made our back to school again in the blizzard. Attended a dumb lecture, had a lame meeting. Ajourned

From the above, you can gauge after i turned 21. How life has been to me..........

it seeps out// 9:58 PM

Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Definitely maybe.

As i was walking past Jurong point today, i saw a store which has the title: " MINE COllection"
Thoughts ran through my mind.
Me: So do u carry any claymore?
No,
How abt C4?
Not that either,
Dang, i guess i will have to stick with good old fashion TNT.

JX: U jus have to walk into the store and grab anything. IF they try to stop u, jus say 'ITS MINE'

I didn't like sterotyping people, and a friend of mine strengthen my view on it. She said, that she don't talk to ugly guys. Its not a sin if the guy is ugly. He is just talented in other things, therefore GOD decided to offset him that little bit. Look at me, im as ugly as ur ass but HEY what have i got haha.RIGHT????????? Eyebrow raised.'

Tired continue tomorrow

it seeps out// 11:10 PM

Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Gerard is angelic

It is so hard to believe after looking at me, that im a christian. What is even harder is the fact that i go to mass every sunday for prayers. Yes, this fucker over here believe in a god almighty, who happened to save me a couple of times. I got a few close calls that needed attention, and he answered it. Hang on a second, im not too sure GOd is a he. Lets just called him "it", since he was once a male fucker on earth as well. Do not get me wrong, he is the best fucker that ever walked this living earth. Love, devotion, feelings and emotions are all that i learned to do from him. It is the RETURN TO INNOCENCE for me.

If you haven't realise everything around you works on the principle of the great one performing his acts. I am one such victim. A couple of couples can count on me for bringing them together. As a result when i was in J1, i requested to the MIGHTY GENIE to grant my wish. The wish went like this: "Dear God, let me have a whirlwind of a time". I did in Cj, and also landed with the craziest girl they have to offer in commerce.

5 years later....... The craziness never cease. They say, you need a crazier man to catch another lunatic. If there is any proof of this. Go read Joan's blog.

CNY is coming. I wana wish every1 the very best in their collection. Also to those who had enuff ang bao's take care overseas.

it seeps out// 12:21 AM

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Nihilist Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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it seeps out// 7:21 PM

Saturday, January 17, 2004
In my soul lies an abyss of sadistic ideas

My sister in law a graduate from business thought of a formula. The volume of how she says "UUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"is directly proportional to the kid piss/shit.

When i was driving Cq and Yixang home.
Me: Ah Cqn how to get to your place ah
Cq: Ummm Umm
Me: Better hurry man we are at the crossroad.
50m away...
Cq: Turn left
35m away....
Cq: Turn right
20m away....
Cq: No sorry its left
5m away...
Cq: Aaaa Gerard how to go to my house ah
0m....
Gerard stops the car, dies of laughter amid horns and curses.

Some people seem to think that if they press against my dashboard, they can stop the car.
& that airport close down at 2am.

Putting a grasshopper into a bottle sharpener and subsequently submerging completely it in water, takes 7mins n 30 sec for the grasshopper to drown.

The spine of the grasshopper is blue. After this dude called Darwin tried a sub-zero finishing move on it. ( Which involves the intricate procedure of pulling the hoppers head clean off.

Somebody told me sperm taste like salt. Nope, its not me and my curious brain.

When i was in toa Payoh.
A prank call pissing us off.
1st time....
Kenny: hello hello
2nd time....
kenny: hello hello helllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Slams down phone.
He told me, he has a plan, that on the 3rd and final time he will surprise the fucker and damn him to hell.
3rd time
Kenny with 1 swift move picks up the receiver and simultaneously shouts into the phone:
Nineveh pua cheebye, bo lan pa kon wei si mu si.... Oh hi professor i was just testing out the thesis you were teaching us the other day on psychology.

The uncanny similarity between me and my bud Jude,
Both of us have the same PSLE, O and A Level score not to mention the prelim points during Os
Both of us were in the same class in Kindergarden, Pri school and JC
Both of us have 2 ex gfs roughly the same time and currently attached.
Both of us wear glasses and come from a single parent family.

Fiona Xie's boobs ain't as small as you think....

When i was outfield. I was so bored that i talk to lady bird in my shelscrap ( REad: bed) for an hour. I even folded a leaf into a blanket for it.

When i was in sec. school, a girl, i wasn't interested in told me i had 15% of a chance to get her. I was like hmmmzz, u mean u can quantify this shit too. I didn't get her.

Chinese new year is coming. Its gonna be the same routine as in every other year. There is a but to it though. On the 3rd day, Sat. There will be a hangover bash in China Black. Read my e-mail to u all. Also on the 2nd day, we are looking for khakis for mj. 50c-$1. Night. See you man au revoir.

it seeps out// 1:50 PM

Bad day

Firstly i want to exclaim having a personnel grudge with lorries is a health hazard. Especially, when your car is in deep mire and the lorry dont even have a single scratch. If that wasn't bad enough, i had to play football with chinese guys who think they are man hunt contestants. Chinese dudes always treat everything as a competition, the typical Kiasu mentality. I only had a peace of mind when i was in JY's room recuparating my breadth.

The crunch came during my forenightly CAC meeting. My stomach was bellowing for dinner at 8 only to have the meeting dragged till 11pm. In the cold, smelly room with a few dudes and babes. We were talking thrash for hours.. Progress slow... tempers were frail. I feel like shit man. We came out with pretty interesting themes for our 3 march bash plan by yours truely.

P.O.R.N: Place Of retro night
N.U.D.E: Night of Undying Disco Edventure

Jesus Christ i nearly went insane can.

it seeps out// 12:40 AM

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it seeps out// 12:11 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Logic gates

Somebody staying in hall mentioned to me, tt i should update my blog regularly.
So here are some insides into my terminology and quotes.

" As sneaky as snickers" - dunno where that came from, probably when i was playing gunbound
" Fighting fire with desire" - Gopi to Zaky when he mentioned something abt smoking when fire fighting.
" Booby trapped" - when meappy [wolf]'s sis attracted stares to her boobs from guys.
" Nothing's hurt just your pride, so wise up" - To jagedesh when i fought with him way back in sec. school
" Let me tell u a secret" - Its an all too familiar line all of us we hear. I still ponder why is a secret still called a secret when i noe about a certain detail that nearly every1 else noes. Maybe its a secret because the person who told the secret, doesn't know every1 elseknow about the "secret" as well.

private : " i tot i tot"
sergeant: " i tot i tot a putty cat ah, go sign 3 extra"

during bayonet fighting, private's butt stroke to the head too low.
sergeant Peter: " What are you trying to hit? U r trying to hit the enemy's head. Not King Kong's balls."

When someone tells a guy/girl, u r getting more chio/ yan dao. Doesn't mean u ARE yan dao/ chio, it basically means ur looks have improved abit for the better after years of tragedy.

When u ask someone whether he would like to do something or go somewhere. He replies with a ' call you back', 'think about it first' or even 'confirm w you later'. You can screw him n ask some1 else, he is rejecting you politely. After years of getting football matches together i know what it's like.

When you ask a girl out for dinner or lunch one to one, & she agrees even though there a dozen other options she can choose from. From my astute years of experience, there is a 79%, you can get hitched with her.

From a book Joan read, which i thought was interesting->
Mitch: " We guys find it hard to commit into a relationship"
Mae: " Why is that so?"
Mitch: "We guys need to open the west to the East. The everlasting search for more breast."
Mae: " What about your wife?"
Mitch: " We marry, so we are guaranteed an extra set of breast at home. The oceans and mountains are huge out there. You girls marry because you find the need to commit to a penis"
Mitch: " I like breast; the kind that are big, round and bounce but not shimmy. "
Of course in the book, the girl was struggling to keep her angry hands from strangling him.

Its harder for a guy to try to love a girl than the other way round. I think i am gonna be killed for this statement

Never 'play' with mutts or indians. Their definition of 'play' isn't what u think. Theirs is like shaperning an end of the broom into a javelin n throwing at u. Chasing you with their motorbike. Subsequently throwing their piss at you while riding.

The thing about guys being nervous around the girls they like are true. I find it hard to be comfortable around them. Most of the time i am concentrating on doing and saying the right thing. Sigh useless.

Alright this is part 1
part 2 is on thurs. Stay tune

Mood: Steppenwolf's Born to be wild

it seeps out// 7:46 PM

Sunday, January 11, 2004
Retro

Yesterday i made my weekly journey to my KM house. A place where i had lived out my fondest memories. Neighbours know each other from the 13th floor to the 21st floor in the 30 year old block. Literally, i can say 'i am going downstairs to eat'. It has changed so much now that i look back. All the new blocks, shops and gardens covering the once fantastic view i had. It is for the better i guess.

5 people living in a 3 room flat, wasn't what i call comfortable but i loved every minute of it. I wonder where would i be without such bonding with my bros and the people around me. I definitely wouldn't want to be stuck with a Filipino maid whom i'll definitely be pampered and discipline. Some people regard family as something that will always be there, taking things for granted. Your mum may nag at you, you dad may restrict things you wouldn't want to. Ultimately its for your own good, and they are the ONly people you can count on when the time arises.

Now that i've left my km house, i still have the key to go back my 2nd home as and when i want to. Coincidentally i call my Km "mummy" too, thats how close we all are.

School starts tomorrow. As Kenny put it on my 1st day of sch in p1:" Your nightmare has just began". I feel that i am seriously not cut out for studies. It simply bores me to death, really challenges my patience. Yes, i know of a few people who can play all day and still score. Sadly i am not 1 of those who belong in that category. God, i hate those people who moan and groan all day, saying they will fail their exams. When the results are out, they either pass everything or they score straight As. Deja vu? It might just be you. . Im a pessimist myself, at least i don't piss people off doing this. At least when i say i am going to fail, i mean it & it happens.

I was in NUS with Joan and friends on thursday. This BOTAK dude ( joan's friend) walks up to us and started chatting. The conversation went like this.

Us: " What's up with the hair cut"
Botak: " Its my final chance to do something outrageous"
Me thinking: " This dude is suffering the meappy[wolf] or the nerd syndrome, botak is not equal to outrageous"
Botak: " I am going orchard later"
Us: "What you doing there man"
Botak: " I am goin for a hair cut"
I gave him the wtf look
Me: " So how much do they charge for your already invisible hair, or your implanted pubs?"

Looks like NUS have lamers worse than me. He is fucking 2 years older than me too.

Music: Weird Al's "OREO"

it seeps out// 2:26 PM

Friday, January 09, 2004
Achievement:

After inspired by my new given guitar. I could finally play the intro to sweet child of mine, BB mak's Ghost of you and me as well as re-cap extreme's more than words. I drew alot of stares on the streets today with my "Shitty/cool (depends on ur opinion) look." Quite a shocker yah. I personnally think its fucking cool so back off k. Do u dare to try stuff. Man, i should join fear factor. Por que Por que!!

Feelings now:

What am i supposed to do with all these troubles.
Haunting me everywhere
No matter what i do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow

I can't let go
When will the night be over

it seeps out// 1:04 PM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004
OK im gonna stir some shit up

For days now i've been trying to solve a certain blogger problem. Apparently everybody else could view any blog page, but i always get re-directed to their mainpage. I still face the same problem, but i just have to refresh twice.
Evil did a list of new year resolution. Yesterday as i lay in my oh, so familiar bed. I came up with my own.

Resolutions:
1. First and foremost improve on my drumming, piano and guitar technics. Joan taught me something: If u have like 10years of piano exp.; Guitar once u get the fingering, everything else is a breeze. Drums is a different beat though, its basically imagination and feelings.

2. Stop saying:" i pay for you first", if you miss this opportunity is not my fuck problem. Except to ppl like Jude, evil, white feather and hongster. Some weirdos expect me to telepatically read their bank balance and the emptiness of their wallets. Watever (pablo style)

3. Knack down to some serious studies, almost all of my close friends fucked up their studies one way or another. I already "da bao". MUst Study. study study study soccer study study study chill out study study study Whee study

4. Keep a low profile. Generally i think NTU people are very boring and full of shit. Of course im not sterotyping. We have the SJI guys and ppl like JY, Mr i look like im from rugby, but im from choir, miss honestly i dun make cancerous jellies and no i dun suffer from jellyvities and meow. Even the mutts are more hard working than me, wtf.

5. Work. I need to work during the weekends to supplement my car fuel> It cost roughly 250/mth, not to mention the road tax, insurance shit, accidental accidents. I swear if i wasn't in NTU, i would sell away the fucking money draining car.

6. Save enough $, so i can fly over to perth in May and visit evil, my bro, mel and others. Fucking murdoch guys in mass comm are fucking lucky. They have a week of holiday every 2 weeks.

7. Restart my stocks and shares playing.

8. Love my mum more. No im not incest, just she is the only person i can call family for the best part of my life. My KM and KC and my 2 brothers are also people i call family too.

Peace out man.
Thanks for the rusty , dusty 7 years old electric guitar evil. Really appreciate it. Needed one since fucking meappy[wolf], broke my strings on my accoustic. Finally i can play the whole white stripes album on guitar and DRUM woahhioohohohohohohohohohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohohohohohohohohohohohohoohohohohohohoho.

it seeps out// 11:20 AM

Friday, January 02, 2004
Lessons learnt:

I am always playing the role of a fool. I believe in time will change a person's particularly friendship damaging character or habit. Apparently I am very much mistaken by it. Time can only mend wounds but will never totally change anybody.

Money is such a taboo word. It is almost always the centre of quarrels and happiness. There is a Chinese saying that, if you talk money, relationships will be badly hurt. How true. I learn a valuable lesson yesterday. I just decided not to tolerate anymore nonsense and throw his friendship outta my window. A great start to a new year, i needed to remove some junk anyway. He can throw mine outta his window for all i care.

The new year got to a stoning start. The key word to use was " VODKA"!!!!. No wonder the 40000 mother son of Russians die from it every year. I seriously don't want to contribute to that figure, making it 40001.
Pasir Ris was fucking pack and hot can. We have the mutts pissing in BK plastic bags in the countdown. Indian dudes smashing beer mugs. Chinese ah beng dancing to one of the best techno DJ in Sing. Jason Chow. Great unity.............

Aft yesterday night,
My bank acc reads: $ 23.00
My wallet registers: $10.00
Piss level: Bladder Problem
Budget Forcast of 2004: Couldn't be more expensive.
Relationships ( friends): roller-coaster
RElationship (family): Same as 2003 which is also the same as 1999 and ......
Talk (topic): Crap, read the above
Mood now: Blurry

I know of a guy who is an emotional casualty. Thank god im not.

it seeps out// 1:58 AM